Ebook: Nine Essential Conversations before You Say I Do

In his popular book, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do, author and pastor Gary Thomas, marriage and family therapist Dr. Steve Wilke and Rebecca Wilke, EdD help couples explore:
• What marriage means to each individual and whether this is a wise match
• How to engage in essential relational pursuits such as healthy conflict, sexual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy
• How to discuss in advance crucial aspects of marriage such as childrearing, finances, and marital roles
• Why asking hard questions now is better than asking them five years from now

With thoughtful questions that encourage couples to examine themselves and their relationships, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do will help couples thrive not only in the early months of their marriage but also in the years to come.



Includes Guides and Questions.

A workbook for premarital counseling, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do guides couples through the most important conversations to test and grow their relationship.

Gary Thomas is writer-in-residence at Second Baptist Church in Houston, a frequent guest on Focus on the Family and FamilyLife Today radio, and a popular speaker around the world. His award-winning books have been translated into fifteen languages and have sold two million copies. Thomas and his wife have three children.



Steve D. Wilke, PhD, has been engaged in psychological ministries for over thirty years. Following his doctoral work in clinical psychology with a specialization in marriage and family, he founded the Family Counseling Center, where he serves as clinical director. He cofounded LEADon®, a leadership development firm that equips executives, leaders, and their teams with strategic leadership skill sets. Steve has been married to Rebecca for almost forty years. Together they have authored numerous books, but they feel their greatest legacy is their family, now comprised of adult children and grandchildren.



Rebecca Wilke, EdD has served as a teacher, professor, and leadership consultant working with children and adults in both public and private school settings. She is a graduate of the University of Southern California, where she received her doctorate in educational leadership. Rebecca is a cofounder of Sonkist Ministries, a faith-based ministry that supports individuals, couples, and families. She is a principal and cofounder of LEADon®.

Contents

Authors' Note 7

For Pastors and Mentors 9

For Couples: How to Use This Conversation Guide 13

Session 1: Pre-engagement Punch List 19

Devotional 1: Six Signs He or She Isn't Marriage Material 25

Session 2: The Doubt-Free Wedding Day 31

Devotional 2: Two Are Better Than One 40

Session 3: Your Covenant Marriage 43

Devotional 3: Divorce Divorce 52

Session 4: And the Two Shall Become One 57

Devotional 4: Moving Toward Each Other 64

Session 5: Building a Family 67

Devotional 5: Some Day 74

Session 6: Constructive Conflict 77

Devotional 6: Vacation Vanity 86

Session 7: Developing and Maintaining Sexual Intimacy 91

Devotional 7: The Power of a Pure Passion 100

Session 8: Money, Money, Money 105

Devotional 8: Finances 112

Session 9: Spiritual Intimacy 115

Devotional 9: Power Couples 120

Appendix A: The Marriage Mentor's

Conversational Session Guide 123

Appendix B: Personal History Questionnaire 137

Notes 157 "Gary Thomas debunks the mythical search for a soul mate to help you choose a 'sole-mate'-someone who will lay down their life in faithful love. This biblically based book is for anyone who wants to be wise in their pursuit of a spouse." "Filled with questions to make you think and teaching that will bring 'aha' moments, this book is a must read for everyone considering marriage. I highly recommend it to you-I wish I'd had it when I was single!" "Gary Thomas dismantles contemporary philosophies on love, sexuality, and marital union by offeri