Ebook: The Importance of Disappointment

In this book, Ian Craib examines the nature of identity in late modern society, using psychoanalytic and sociological perspectives. Acknowledging his own experience of dealing with a terminal illness, he explores such issues as the fear of death, the grieving process, and the disappointments of male identity. Drawing on his in-depth knowledge of psychoanalytic theory, Craib discusses ways of thinking about the self, as separate individuals and in relation to others. While fragmentation, anxiety, conflict and disappointment are virtually unavoidable in today’s world, there is a bright side, Craib claims: the ideas and values of psychoanalysis hold the possibility, though in a limited way, of a “liberating, enriching and growth-inspiring process” (p. 57).

Admitting that the current climate for students of Freud is “dangerously conservative” (p. 34), he takes up a position that accepts internal conflict within the individual while not delving too deeply into such aspects as the relationship that men and women have with their own bodies. The book emphasises masculine identity, referring to the work of David Jackson and Robert Bly on masculinity and the men’s movement, but dismissing any serious consideration of patriarchy as an ideology or organising system within society. Nevertheless, despite lacking a feminist analysis, many of his insights can be applied equally to the lives of either sex.

Drawing from the work of Melanie Klein, he expands on her notion of disappointment, suggesting that the idea of integration is a paradox: “integration is the acceptance of a process of being unintegrated, of depression, internal conflict and a normal failure to contain these within the boundaries of the personality” (p. 176). For those who see psychotherapy as offering solutions, happiness and satisfaction, Craib explains, the idea of integration may not be attractive. It means putting up with conflict and the bad aspects of relationships and of the self.

Despite Craib’s criticisms of psychoanalysis – its structure and some of its ideas, he sees it as being of much value, “a self-governing profession which accepts its own limitations, and which does not try to pathologise whole areas of life, or insist on what it has to offer being essential if life’s difficulties are going to be negotiated” (p. 183). The emphasis of psychoanalysis is on the individual, and the experience of the individual is penetrated by the system, including psychotherapy itself – a drawback, Craib argues, but not sufficient reason to reject it. While the ideal of achieving a unified, integrated identity or stable solutions to life dilemmas is unrealistic, he sees the insights of psychotherapy as being invaluable to those who choose this path.

This book also includes a chapter specifically on the organisation of social life, although the emphasis in general is on psychoanalysis with sociological insights, case studies, and anecdotes from the author’s own life. This text refers to the paperback edition.

About the author. Ian Craib, psychotherapist, and sociologist at the University of Essex, died December 22, 2002, aged 57.