Ebook: Talk To The Snail: Ten Commandments For Understanding The French

Have you ever walked into a half-empty Parisian restaurant, only to be told that it's "complet"' Attempted to say "merci beaucoup" and accidentally complimented someone's physique' Been overlooked at the boulangerie due to your adherence to the bizarre foreign custom of waiting in line' Well, you're not alone. The internationally bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and In the Merde for Love has been there too, and he is here to help. In Talk to the Snail, Stephen Clarke distills the fruits of years spent in the French trenches into a truly handy (and hilarious) book of advice. Read this book, and find out how to get good service from the grumpiest waiter; be exquisitely polite and brutally rude at the same time; and employ the language of l'amour and le sexe. Everything you need is here in this funny, informative, and seriously useful guide to getting what you really want from the French.;Intro; Title Page; Copyright Page; Table of Contents; 1 THOU SHALT BE WRONG (if youâ#x80;#x99;re not French); 2 THOU SHALT NOT WORK; 3 THOU SHALT EAT; 4 THOU SHALT BE ILL; 5 THOU SHALT SPEAK FRENCH; 6 THOU SHALT NOT SING (in tune, anyway); 7 THOU SHALT NOT KNOW; 8 THOU SHALT NOT LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR; 9 THOU SHALT NOT BE SERVED; 10 THOU SHALT BE POLITE (and simultaneously rude); 11 THOU SHALT SAY â#x80;#x98;I LOVE YOUâ#x80;#x99;; Epilogue.