Ebook: 57 ways to screw up in grad school perverse professional lessons for graduate students

AN INTRODUCTION TO SCREWING UP -- Who Are I? -- Gendered Pronouns -- Thesis vs. Dissertation? -- STARTING OUT -- 1. Do Not Think about Why You Are Applying -- 2. Ignore the Market -- 3. Stay at the Same University -- 4. Follow the Money Blindly -- 5. Do an Unfunded PhD -- 6. Do an Interdisciplinary PhD -- 7. Believe Advertised Completion Times -- 8. Ignore the Information the University Provides You -- 9. Expect the Money to Take Care of Itself -- SUPERVISORS -- 10. Go It Alone and Stay Quiet -- 11. Choose the Coolest Supervisor -- 12. Have Co-Supervisors -- 13. Do Not Clarify Your Supervisor's (or Your Own) Expectations -- 14. Avoid Your Supervisor and Committee -- 15. Stay in a Bad Relationship -- 16. Expect People to Hold Your Hand -- MANAGING YOUR PROGRAM -- 17. Concentrate Only on Your Thesis -- 18. Expect to Write the Perfect Comprehensive Exam -- 19. Select a Topic for Entirely Strategic Reasons -- 20. Do Not Teach, or Teach a Ton of Courses -- 21. Do Not Seek Teaching Instruction -- 22. Move Away from the University Before Finishing Your Degree -- 23. Postpone Those Tedious Approval Processes -- 24. Organize Everything Only in Your Head -- 25. Do Not Attend Conferences, or Attend Droves of Conferences -- YOUR WORK AND SOCIAL LIFE -- 26. Concentrate Solely on School -- 27. Expect Friends and Family to Understand -- 28. Socialize Only with Your Clique -- 29. Get a Job! -- WRITING -- 30. Write Only Your PhD Thesis -- 31. Postpone Publishing -- 32. Cover Everything -- 33. Do Not Position Yourself -- 34. Write Only to Deadlines -- 35. Abuse Your Audience -- YOUR ATTITUDE AND ACTIONS -- 36. Expect to Be Judged Only on Your Work -- 37. Have a Thin Skin -- 38. Be Inconsiderate -- 39. Become "That" Student -- 40. Never Compromise -- 41. Gossip -- 42. Say Whatever Pops into Your Head on Social Media -- DELICATE MATTERS.