Ebook: I Drink for a Reason

Don't abandon your baby -- But it's good for you! -- I think rich people are boring -- Minutes of the Development and Programming meeting for Fox Television's new season -- I ain't no this or that -- Woodstock -- Breaking up -- A non-sponsored look at holidays in America -- The mystifying allure of gratuitous luxury -- YourStar.com -- Scrapbooking in Michigan -- I would be the shittiest survivor in history -- A little bit about me, 'cause it's my book -- My memoir-to-be -- A free list of quirks for aspiring independent filmmakers -- Sitting on a pole trying to win some money -- Didja know? -- I hate America! or, I hate America? -- Heaven! -- The five people you meet in limbo -- Ideas for T-shirts to be sold at Urban Outfitters -- In anticipation of reading this right now -- Gay Canada -- You'll never guess!!! -- Sweet Mary J. -- Hey! Free advice! -- Correspondence with Dave Eggers -- Involuntary random thoughts I've had not always when I was pooing but certainly sometimes when I was pooing -- Ask a rabbi! -- A short request to lame friends -- Things to do when you are bored -- The golden age of cowardice -- Top ten top ten lists -- Bill O'Reilly fantasy -- How to play "Mafia," the funnest yet most unnerving game ever invented -- I don't have children -- A short list of videos with babies in them that I have not seen on the internet but most likely exist and I would like to see at some point -- Other ways in which Jews can utilize current technolgy to get around God's strict laws for the Sabbath -- Beef with Jim Belushi -- Cigar corner -- Excerpts from the galley copy of James Frey's latest memoir, Lesson learned -- Original message -- Top ten CDs to listen to while listening to other CDs -- An open letter to Larry the Cable Guy -- We have got to stop calling so many people "heroes" -- Oh, I forgot you could do that -- For the love of God! -- Cigar corner: bonus story! -- Cigar corner, part 2 -- Truck stop -- Letter from the future -- An afterthought.;An award-winning comedian, actor, producer, and now author serves up a collection of essays, false memoirs, and laugh-out-loud strange stories.