Ebook: Fucking apostrophes: a guide to show you where you can stick them

Apostrophes are a pain. The rules about how to use them are complicated, and have evolved haphazardly. Originally written as advice by a copywriter for designers wont to insert and remove apostrophes at will, for visual effect this is a light-hearted pocket-sized guide to getting the things right. Simon Griffin lets off steam so that we don't have to, showing precisely why 'Rhianna and Jennifer's photos were all over the internet' is quite different to 'Rhianna's and Jennifer's photos' or what words apostrophes are replacing in sentences such as 'He'd like you to buy him some cocaine', or 'They've got it all on camera.' Elegantly produced, this is the perfect gift for any pedant, as well as an indispensable guide in all our moments of grammar-related frustration.;Introduction (Fucking apostrophes ; A quick history of fucking apostrophes) -- 1. Omissions or contractions (Basic contractiosn ; Larger contractions ; Exceptions ; Omission vs. possessive) -- 2. Possessive fucking apostrophes (Singular nouns and names ; Singular names ending in S ; Plural nouns ; Plural names ; Plural names ending in S ; Plural words that look singular ; Unusual plural words ; Shared possession ; Attributive fucking apostrophes ; False possessives Organisations and street names) -- 3. Pronouns and fucking apostrophes (Possessive pronouns and adjectives ; Indefinite pronouns) -- 4. Plural fucking apostrophes (Clarifyng meaning) -- Common uses of fucking apostrophes